Looking Forward To Stomping Cretins

I’ve been meaning to give air to Looking Forward To Being Attacked, the new LP from Memphis wildlings Cretin Stompers, for a month now – this post got lost in the move. I was listening to this a fair bit too when I was packing up – it's a Hozac and Burger Records dual release, so that gives you some idea what to expect but still there is a gritty thrashiness and yet coquettishness to these guys that is beguiling, weird and pretty great too. The one-two punch of ‘Project:Object’ and ‘Adult Child’ exemplify this perfectly – a high-pitched vocal gives us a languid rock jam that plays with our sonorous heartstrings, before the second track goes full tilt into the rubbish tip, all metal scrapes and distorted riffs and growled grunts, eyes rolling around, a spit-stained thrash-out. The drums sound cavernous and blown-out; the guitars alternate between stoned sunshine psychedelics and speed-freak garage trash. There is the straight forward grooves of ‘Randy Kraft’ followed by the helium-blast of ‘Watch Sally Run’; the distorted yacht rock melt of ‘Dream Blood’ and 70s stadium rock of ‘Cowboy From Mars’…It’s such an absurd pill to swallow and let meld with your molecules – it’s as if the Weens went and tried to cover Thee Oh Sees and spectacularly failed, but in their own way spectacularly succeeded – so in many ways it does what it says on the tin. Despite the offputting nature one who stomps cretins might have, we are always thankful for them – especially when ‘Cretin Ate My Neighbour!’ hits – and as soon as I throw this on, I'm raring for the frontal attack. Witness the weirdness.

You can grab Looking Forward To Being Attacked here.